I anxiously uploaded a perfectly angled picture of myself and filled out the most interesting “about me” section I could pen. What are your hobbies? I was like a deer frozen in the headlight of a speeding SUV. That seemingly easy question somehow felt like the final question on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Can I phone a friend please? I was sitting in the Seattle airport, surrounded by a sea of people, watching airplanes zoom down the runway while I waited for my zone to be announced.
Maybe it was the time zone difference, the lack of caffeine, or the fact that we had two hours to wait before boarding our plane, but at some point I had decided to give online dating a chance. Dating over the internet had become the new way to connect with people. A single swipe of your finger to the left or to the right and you could reject someone guilt free. With a few clicks of the mouse you could custom create your partner. Like placing your Starbucks order, “venti, non-fat, no whip white mocha,” so you could pick a partner. Tall, light brown hair with a shot of blue eyes, and two pumps of witty comebacks. It’s convenient- easy to use, but can you really meet your person online?
When what you are doing stops working, do something different.
I desperately needed a change after the J debacle. He was a self-declared sociopath and had taken everything from me. So, I went on a blind date. We met for drinks at an old Irish pub. He was a mechanical engineer who had just moved to town. A former Marine who had spent two tours in Iraq, returned to the US, and attempted to forget everything that happened. He didn’t play games, he treated me with respect, and most importantly he wasn’t a liar. Ultimately, it didn’t work out, but I learned that not everyone is a sociopath. One small step for my dating life and one giant leap for my self-esteem.
I always played the safe card with dating. The safe card had gotten me into the most toxic relationship of my life. So, instead, I decided to throw caution to the wind. Select a dating website and have some fun. I have met a lot of interesting people online. People who have fabricated their life in attempts to sound more appealing and people who have lied about their age (FYI, your picture will tell on you). I’ve also met some very nice, honest, hardworking guys.
To say I struggled with online dating would be an understatement. I sent three “winks” back-to-back to the same guy…I’m sure I looked like the overeager clingy girl and subsequently found myself on his blocked list. haha! Because I couldn’t figure out how to navigate the site, it took me a while to respond to messages. One guy become upset with my delayed response. Continuing to reach out to me, he told me he had been engaged, his fiance had an abortion, and his sole purpose for online dating was to commit character assassination upon his former best friend. Now, that is baggage! I graciously passed that opportunity up- I just didn’t feel like staying in counseling another 10 years. Another guy, referred to himself in the third person the entire time we talked. It was awkward and at times very confusing. For a while, I wasn’t positive who we were talking about. But, Jack took home the cake. He declared himself to be a criminal prosecutor in Texas. He was accomplished, had traveled to many exotic places (rode Elephants, petted Tigers) the more outrageous the better. His only downfall was that he just wasn’t forthcoming about his name. When he finally told me his name, it quickly became apparent that he had fabricated his entire life. The name he picked, was the name of a character in a Mel Gibson movie. Original. Hard to figure out. However, if I were to award first place to the most creative bio, it would go to this guy…
I’m going on my second date with a guy I met two days ago; another blind date. I love the challenge of a blind date- a challenge to see how easily you can connect with someone you don’t know. I’ll let you know how it goes. Happy Dating to all of you onliners. May the odds be ever in your favor.